In the end, both women are jealous of each other and vie for Wills attention. Sometimes he texts Anna in front of Lindsay, but tells Lindsay not to worry about it. Unbeknownst to Anna, Lindsay believes she is in a new relationship with Will. Sometimes, Will compares her to Lindsay, and she tells Will it hurts her feelings, but he responds by telling her that shes jealous and theres nothing to worry about. She is aware that Will has a new friend, Lindsay, that he knows through work. He even started blaming her for things that are not her fault. Sometimes his stories change, especially regarding where he has been and who he was with. For the last month, however, Anna has noticed Will is texting less than he used to, barely answering her questions, and is otherwise being extremely vague. He told her he loved her, that she was perfect, and that they were meant for each other. Anna had fallen madly in love with Will, and there was talk of marriage and babies and an amazing future. During this time, Will showered Anna with affection, attention, and plenty of gifts.
Will and Anna have been together for a few months. Joe, on the other hand, has accomplished nothing and is praised endlessly. In fact, nothing she has accomplished has ever been acknowledged. Sarah accomplished a lot since then, including receiving an excellent education that she paid for, and a successful career as a businesswoman. As soon as Sarah turned 18, her mother kicked her out and told her she was on her own. Her mother blamed her for Joes theft, even when it was obvious that it wasnt her fault. Sarah, however, was forced to get a job as soon as she was old enough to work. New electronics, all of his secondary education is paid for, and hes allowed to live at home with no expenses. Yet, he is given anything he could ever want and more. Joe has often gotten into trouble over the years, getting kicked out of school, doing drugs, and even stealing from his parents. In their mothers eyes, Joe can do no wrong, especially since he is her darling boy. Who is idealized and who is devalued is completely arbitrary and dependent on the manipulator, and it may switch back and forth. The new, shiny partner or friend is idealized as perfect, whereas the previous holder of this position is devalued as completely flawed. Here, as in the family version of triangulation, splitting and projection also occurs. Worse still, a narcissistically inclined person may triangulate someone that they are no longer in contact with in order to control those they are in contact with. Sometimes, the triangulated individuals may not even know that they are being used to manipulate others, or only one of them may be aware. The disordered individual will enjoy the attention, whether negative or positive, and may even let the triangulated individuals know about each other so they fight for their attention.
Similarly, in a romantic relationship, the manipulator will bring another person, more often than not a new romantic interest but perhaps a platonic friend, into their primary intimate relationship in order to create discord, confusion, and jealousy. Consequently, one child becomes the all-good, or golden child, and the other becomes the all-bad, or scapegoat.
The unhealthy, toxic, and often narcissistic caregiver splits their own good self-image and bad self-image into two distinct parts and then projects them onto their children. Within the dysfunctional family unit, this is the classic golden child-scapegoat dynamic. Triangulation and the Golden Child-Scapegoat Family Dynamic This is the inability to see that most people have a mix of good and bad qualities and seeing things as black or white only. Triangulation is the method used by narcissistically inclined individuals to soothe and protect their ego, in part because they lack whole object relations. It is a highly effective strategy to gain an advantage over perceived rivals by manipulating them into conflicts with one another. It may appear in different forms, but all are about divide and conquer, or playing people against each other. There will be limited or no communication between the two triangulated individuals except through the manipulator. Triangulation is when a toxic or manipulative person, often a person with strong narcissistic traits, brings a third person into their relationship in order to remain in control.
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